The post in which I cannot think of a title...

If you’ve known me for more than 2 minutes, you know that I do not have the ability to beat around the bush.  It’s just not in me.  So here it is, I HAVE BREAST CANCER. I am 35 years old and have (with exception to bedrest and newborn days of having no sleep) been a physically active person.  I haven’t worn store brand deodorant for the past 5 years b/c it makes my pits feel weird.  I eat pretty well, but also love burgers, fries and pizza. And I’ve recently been switching over my household and beauty products to toxin-free alternatives.

All that said, cancer doesn’t care.  Every new care provider I meet says “OH, you are so young”.  Yes, I am.  But I’m also learning of more and more twenty-somethings that are also experiencing this. Again, cancer just DOES NOT CARE! 

How I found the lump:  I was not great at doing self exams monthly.  However, in early June I was carrying someone on my back in a baby carrier and the buckle was twisted and kept digging into my under arm area.  It made it quite tender and caused me to feel around and inspect the bruise.  As a result of that, I found my lump.  I waited 4-5 weeks before calling the doctor though b/c I knew that small lumps could be the result of where you are in your menstrual cycle OR too much caffeine (and I had been loading up on so much caffeine!).  So after the 4-5 week wait time, the mass didn’t go away so I called my gyn.  I went in for an exam and she sent me to the St John Breast Center for a mammogram and ultrasound.  As I was waiting, I had a really bad feeling just wash over me.  It was the same feeling that came when I had my first miscarriage.  It felt exactly the same, no denying it.  It wasn’t that I was being negative, it just felt familiar.  It was awful and stuck with me during the procedures.  It didn’t get any better when they needed to repeat a “special” mammogram on my left side. And it felt even worse when they spent extra time imaging my lymph nodes under my right armpit. So obviously, it was no surprise when the radiologist came in and said I needed to get some sites biopsied. Sparing details of how a breast biopsy works, I’ll skip to the results.  The left side was just microcalcifications but the right side and lymph node came back as cancerous, and they labeled it as “aggressive”. 

Here is what we know so far: I have a 1.6cm x 1.5cm x 1.4cm (give or take some millimeters) tumor in my right breast, there is also lymph node involvement.  By MRI, only one lymph node seems to be affected.  The tumor is NOT estrogen, progesterone or HER2 (human epidermal growth factor receptor 2) receptive, so therefore it is called TRIPLE NEGATIVE BREAST CANCER.  (here’s an info link for anyone who wants to know more https://tnbcfoundation.org/understanding-triple-negative-breast-cancer/ ).  I have also done the genetic testing and I do NOT have the BRCA genetic mutation (http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/InheritedGeneticMutations.html ).  This is great news for my girls!!!!!

Here’s what is still to come:  Monday August 28^th I will have a port placed and Wednesday August 30^th I will have  PET scan to find out if the cancer has spread anywhere else besides the 2 known locations.  Sandwiched between those appointments, I will meet with my dietitian to go over my food sensitivity test, micronutrient test and MTHFR test. Chemo will start sometime the week after Labor Day, although exact day has not been decided yet.  For 8 weeks (4 sessions, every two weeks) I will receive a combination of Adriamycin and Cytoxan. After that, for 12 weeks (one treatment per week) I will receive Taxol (possibly in combination with Carboplatin, but that is still to be determined).  After all the chemo is over, I will receive a 4-6 week break and then have surgery.  Given my negative BRCA results, then I do not have to have a double mastectomy.  As treatment progresses, we will asses whether a lumpectomy can be performed or if a mastectomy is needed.  The main reason they want to do chemo first is due to the location.  The tumor is abutting my chest muscle.  If they were to do surgery right now, the surgeon would need to take some muscle tissue in order to have clear margins (http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/diagnosis/margins ).  The hope is that chemo will shrink the tumor enough that the surgeon can get clear margins WITHOUT having to cut into the chest muscle.  Following chemo and surgery, I will most likely have radiation.  But that is so far into the future (next spring), that I’m not really focusing on that right now.

Here’s what I need: First and foremost, I need you to NOT say anything to my children before next week.  We are traveling to Kansas this weekend and plan to tell them while we are driving (captive audience is the best audience?).  But really, they should not really ever be the ones who have to field the questions about how I am feeling. I do not want them to carry the burden of my diagnosis.  My kids have not made a negative association with the word cancer yet, and I do not plan to use the word around them a lot.  We will tell them it is indeed breast cancer, but I imagine in day to day we will probably talk more about my “sickness”.  I think they understand the word “sick” a bit better than “cancer” anyway.  Also in relation to the kids, I need you to keep up a confident face when we talk and the kids are present.  I do not want to mislead them, but I want us all to remain positive and confident! I've got so much to live for. God has guided my life from the time I was an infant, and I know that there's more that he wants me to do on this Earth. Right now I'm feeling very positive. But, I know there will be times when my attitude and outlook sink pretty low…and that’s where you step in!

I think this novel is long enough for now.  I’ll be updating via my FB (and perhaps copy to the ole blog) in the future, I think that will just be the easiest.  I wish I could have told each one of you personally, but there’s gonna come a time when we meet in the grocery store and I’m not going to have hair and you’re going to notice my really weird flat spot on the back of my head.  And then I’ll tell you the story, and then I might have to repeat it again 3 times in the same day. And while I don’t mind sharing my story, it gets exhausting.  

Our lives have been in running at 10,000rpm’s here lately. Know that if I’ve dropped the ball on anything, I’m extremely sorry.  I’m learning that for the next year of my life I will need to shift my priorities significantly.  I have to start putting myself first…and it feels so weird (anyone who has ever been a caretaker to any age of dependent knows this feeling!).  But I know it is vital for complete healing.

I’m terrible at asking for help, and if someone says “just let me know how I can help”, I will probably never ask! It’s not that I don’t want your help, it’s just that I feel like I’m putting you out. I came across this article the other day and it has a list (some applicable to me, some may not be) of some great things that I might need in the future. I know I wish I would have thought of these things when a friend of mine was going through treatments.  I’m also going to attach an article from Jet Hatmaker that I just found interesting and completely applicable. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elana-miller-md/living-with-cancer_b_5660514.html

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2015/06/02/our-family-cancer-manifesto

PS: Congrats if you've made it this far :)

Evelyn {10 Months}

So the problems with backposting these updates with a 3rd child is

1) My memory doesn't go past 5 minutes ago

2) My memory is all that I've got b/c I have failed miserably at putting pen to paper and documenting Evelyn's first year.  Sorry kid.

Eat: Every day is a bit different at school, but we nurse in the morning and then she takes around 15-20 ounces at school. She essentially eats everything that we eat.  We never did baby food and went to large chunks of food around 6.5-7 months, now we are able to cut it up into bite size pieces.

Sleep: Nothing has changed here- Hmm, again- you never know with this girl.  She's almost always asleep by 630pm and wakes by 630-645. Since Evelyn's naps at school aren't so great, we try to get her to bed early, sometimes as even early as 545. Most days she has one 1-1.5 hour nap or two 30-45 minute naps. On a bad nap day, she might fall asleep on the way home from school. At home she will take ~2hr morning nap(2 hours after waking) and an ~1.5 hour afternoon nap (3 hours after waking from 1st nap)

Shoes: Size 2-3 but we never wear them

Clothes: 12 months+
Diapers: Size 4's and 5's.  I like the 5s better for night time

Trips: We did Easter up at my parents.

Likes: throat gurgling, standing at the window by the door at school so that she can see out the hallway, waving hi and bye, babababababababa all the way home, walking along the fireplace (neither of the older girls did this...ever!), eating dum-dums

Dislikes: sleeping through the night, when Emmy picks her up with a choke hold, wearing sunglasses or shoes
Milestones: lots of crawling to an object and then pulling herself up, waving, just starting to cruise along objects

Health: Another ear infection, imagine that. Saw the ENT on 4/23 and had tubes put in that next morning.  Isn't our ENT awesome?  She failed her hearing test miserably..as in, if she were an adult- she would need hearing aids.

Other: Her nose is always snotty, her ears are always full, her daytime sleep tank is always empty- but this girl is happy.  We are so blessed by this little smiley.  The big girls love her so much and even though their approach isn't always the most effective, they want to be helping/entertaining her all the time!

Evelyn {9 Months}

Eat: Every day is a bit different at school, but we nurse in the morning and then she takes around 15-20 ounces at school. We also feed her any and all table food (as long as it's not loaded with dairy).  Some of her favorites include toast, Chick Fil A waffle fries (carbs of any kind really) and really just everything!  I know she will get pickier later in life, so I am enjoying this phase.

Sleep: Nothing has changed here- Hmm, again- you never know with this girl.  She's almost always asleep by 630pm and wakes by 630-645. Since Evelyn's naps at school aren't so great, we try to get her to bed early, sometimes as even early as 545. Most days she has one 1-1.5 hour nap or two 30-45 minute naps. On a bad nap day, she might fall asleep on the way home from school. At home she will take ~1hr morning nap, ~1.5 hour afternoon nap and occasionally a 30 min catpnap in the late afternoon.

Shoes: Size 2-3 but we never wear them

Clothes: 9-12 months
Diapers: Size 4 (we sometimes use Nora's size 5 and those work fine too)

Trips: No trips this month!!!

Likes: playing with toes, pulling up on everything, fake coughing, sitting at the table at school in a real, big girl chair, and holding her bottle while on the bottle,

Dislikes: THESE ARE ALL REPEATS FROM LAST MONTH! long sleeps at school, sleeping through the night for more than 2 nights in a row, getting in her carseat (but then she's fine as soon as you hand her a toy), Nora yelling in her face and Emmy constantly right on top of her
Milestones: going from crawling to sitting to standing back down to sitting and crawling again, just this past week she slept through the night for a whole week!!! (but that ended abruptly from an ear infection- diagnosed at her 9 month appointment)

Health: Another ear infection, imagine that. Setting up an appointment with the ENT

Other: Evelyn survived her first tornado!  It hit Sand Springs and traveled north of downtown. We were at dance and she snoozed right through it in the Tula.  Evelyn continues to be our happy, smiley little baby.  I just wish she slept better :(

Evelyn {8 Months}

Time to play a little catch up!  This is so cliche, but seriously- time has flown by.  Evelyn is 9.5 months old and I swear it feels like she was just a little slug baby that we were dragging around to swim lessons in the heat of the summer.  What happened?  

Eat: Every day is a bit different at school, but we nurse in the morning and then she takes around 15-20 ounces at school. We also feed her any and all table food (as long as it's not loaded with dairy).  Some of her favorites include cheerios, puffs, roasted broccoli, strawberries...actually, anything, the girl loves to eat.  She's not really holding her own bottle yet, though.
Sleep: Hmm, again- you never know with this girl.  She's almost always asleep by 630pm and wakes by 630-645. Since Evelyn's naps at school aren't so great, we try to get her to bed early, sometimes as even early as 545. 

Naps: Most days she has one 1-1.5 hour nap or two 30-45 minute naps. On a bad nap day, she might fall asleep on the way home from school. At home she will take ~1hr morning nap, ~1.5 hour afternoon nap and occasionally a 30 min catpnap in the late afternoon.

Shoes: Size 2

Clothes: Pretty much 9 Months or larger
Diapers: Size 4 (we sometimes use Nora's size 5 and those work fine too)

Trips: True to what I said on last month's updated, we have decided to take 2 cars when traveling to my parents.  This month, we had Hays and Hollis' birthday party.  I went up with Emmy and Evelyn on Friday night and Chris and Nora met us at the party Saturday morning.  The trip was MUCH better.

Likes: Going from all fours to sitting, putting anything and everything in her mouth, nursing to sleep, laying on her belly and flapping arms and legs at the same time like she's flying, 
Dislikes: THESE ARE ALL REPEATS FROM LAST MONTH! long sleeps at school, sleeping through the night for more than 2 nights in a row, getting in her carseat (but then she's fine as soon as you hand her a toy), Nora yelling in her face
Milestones: Took a world record nap of 3 hr and 45 minutes on 2/15/15! Lower right central incisor came in on 2/15.  On 2/22 she was able to go from her belly to sitting and on 2/28 she started CRAWLING!  She is by far my earliest crawler.  She's making "baaa", "muh" and "yeah" sounds.  She loves playing with her toes and does a really good down dog.

Health: Another ear infection, imagine that.

Other: We had family pictures taken this month and also had Evelyn's dedication at church.  It was a family thing so our whole clan was up at the front.  Emmy and Nora did well.  Emmy stayed right by us and Nora climbed up the steps and just watched herself on the side screens.  We had a nice Valentine's day.  We also had enough snow to actually play and sled in it!

Evelyn {7 months}

Eat: Every day is a bit different at school, but we nurse in the morning and then she takes around 15-20 ounces at school.  We she has also tasted some apples, broccoli, saltine crackers and a few baby food squeezies (we are mainly doing baby led weaning)
Sleep: Hmm, again- you never know with this girl.  She's almost always asleep by 630pm and wakes by 630-645. Since Evelyn's naps at school aren't so great, we try to get her to bed early, sometimes as even early as 545.

Naps: Most days she has about two or three 30-45 minute naps. At home she will take ~1hr morning nap, ~1.5 hour afternoon nap and a 30 min catpnap around 4.

Shoes: Haven't even tried.

Clothes: Pretty much 9 Months or larger
Diapers: Size 4

Trips: We went up to TFL to see my family in early January.  We went in the truck and it was AWFUL.  Nora would scream just to keep everyone awake, Evelyn had a terrible meltdown b/c she just wanted to sleep.  We vowed that until Nora gets better in the car, we are taking 2 cars.
Likes: baths, trying to get up on all fours, rolling over whenever she's supposed to be on her back, her teachers at b'nai, looking at her sisters, licking boogers, still LVOES the doorway jumper
Dislikes: long sleeps at school, sleeping through the night for more than 2 nights in a row, getting in her carseat (but then she's fine as soon as you hand her a toy), Nora yelling in her face
Milestones: Can sit alone, cut lower left central incisor on her 7 month birthday (the other one is really close), can get up on all fours, is starting to push herself backwards on tummy time.

Health: Reflux is being managed well and we are still going to OMT appointments.  Ear infection recently that we decided to treat since she had been coughing/wheezing/stuffy nose for over 2 weeks.

Other: The months are going by too fast, the sisters are still getting used to us being a family of 5 and they are still adjusting to sharing a room (more on that later).  Nora cries most days at drop off and Emmy is backtalking quite a bit.  Chris still enjoys work and I just survived layoffs at work (lost 20% of our workforce).  Life is busy but we are so blessed.

A letter to my 5 year old

Dear Emmy,

There is nothing eloquent about my writing (that's what you get when your mom has a math degree), but I wanted to write down a few things to let you know how much I love some of the seemingly mundane things that happen in our day to day:

·       You love to sing: real songs, made up songs or just gibberish.  I see lots of choir concerts in our future.

·       You are so confident in your decisions…NEVER lose that quality

·       You color the most beautiful pictures, I can tell that you take your time and work VERY hard

·       You love having your nails and toes painted in fun colors with lots of glitter….just like me!

·       At dance and at gymnastics, you give 100%.  Your teachers always tell me that you are a very hard worker!

·       Your kind heart shows me that you think about others

·       You have the best memory, how do you do that?  I cannot remember anything anymore!

·       You have joy in your heart.

·       Even though it’s really hard being a big sister sometimes, you try your best to be a good example and a first time listener so that Nora will do the same thing.

I love you sweet girl.  Always stay strong.  Always remember that I love you and only want you to be the best person that you can be.

Love,

Mommy

Evelyn {5 months}

Evelyn just turned 5 months old, seriously???? We are almost to a 1/2 of a year and that gives me anxiety.  So I will try not to think about it just yet.

Now onto the real reason of this post, updates on Evelyn.

Eat: Every day is a bit different at school, but we nurse in the morning and then she takes around 15-20 ounces at school.  If it's a low volume day at school then we give a small bottle at home at dinner time and then we nurse at night.
Sleep: Hmm, again- you never know with this girl.  She's almost always asleep by 7pm and wakes by 630-645.  Most nights we have a night time "all you can eat" party sometime between 2 and 5.

Naps: Most days she has about four 30-45 minute naps.

Shoes: Haven't even tried.

Clothes: Mostly 6-9 month clothes if it's a dress or 2 pieces.  The 6 month sleepers are starting to get too small though.
Diapers: Size 3 but I think we need to move up soon, they are getting a bit small.
Trips: Fayetteville on 11/22 for our annual dinner w/ Chris' grad school advisor.  We also went up to TFL for Thanksgiving.  Evelyn did GREAT with all the craziness...much better than Nora at Colorado (close to the same age)
Likes: bath time, trying to do situps from a laying position, sticking her tongue out, blowing out her diapers, being tickled on the ribs, pulling her sisters' hair, eating, smiling so sweetly and innocently at me in the middle of the night, the johnny jump up, reading Llama Llama Red Pajama at night time
Dislikes: a good long nap, when Nora kicks her or stands over her like an alpha dog, showing off her skills for the camera.  There's really not much else.  Evelyn is such a content little baby.
Milestones: Bringing all toys to mouth, trying to sit up all the time, a few displays of stranger anxiety, if we have eye contact with her and then disappear from sight- she will keep looking in our direction until we come back in sight, rolls from belly to back when she wants but is REALLY trying to get from back to belly (she's oh so close)

Health: Reflux is being managed well and we are still going to OMT appointments.  I took Nora and Evelyn in right before Thanksgiving and Evelyn had a lingering ear infection and Nora had a sinus infection.  Other than that, we are well.  Evelyn weighed in at 18.5# at that appointment.

Other: Life is moving too fast.  Dinners are still a crapshoot.  I stay up too late and wake up too early.  Every night Chris and I spend at least 30 minutes getting our house back in order- I need a daily maid.  The girls are enjoying this season of Advent and we are doing our best to instill in them the true meaning of the season (with a side of Santa and Elf on the Shelf mixed in).  Life is crazy but life is good.  I'm lucky to have Chris by my side for every bit of it.

I posted this on FB...but here is a ~5 months comparison shot.   Not identical at this point, but you can definitely tell that these girls are sisters!

And here's our 5 month collage.  So in love with this chill baby.

Evelyn {3 months}

Evelyn just turned 3 months old...how can that be???  We have had a busy month: I returned to work, Evelyn started at B'Nai, we took our first road trip and many trips to gymnastics and dance class.  Evelyn continues to be an even tempered, go with the flow baby.  Please let it stay that way!!!

I have mostly enjoyed returning to work.  I am so thankful to be able to work out at the Y at lunch time.  I think I've lost a little bit of weight since last month and just have about 3lbs to go!!!  I am running the Tulsa Run 5K on Oct 25th, so hopefully training for that will help with the last few lbs.

Now onto the real reason of this post, updates on Evelyn.

Eat: Yesterday Evelyn nursed at 715, then had bottles at 930 (5.5oz), 11:50 (5oz), 2:10 (5oz), 4:40 (5oz), nursed at 6pm and 715pm. 
Sleep: It's been a little rough the last week b/c of Evelyn's cold.  However, she's usually asleep by 8-9 and awake at 630-7.  It's not the most restful sleep for either of us, but I am not having to feed her in the middle of the night. At the beginning of the month she was going to bed at 1030, so we've made lots of progress here! She is currently sleeping in the rock & play b/c of congestion, but usually sleeps in the pack & play.

Naps: All over the place.  We can usually count on one good nap per day (1.5-2 hours) and then lots of catnaps.

Shoes: Haven't even tried.

Clothes: Mostly 6-9 month clothes.  Many of these clothes are hand-me-downs so I'm sure they have shrunk a little bit.
Diapers: Size 3 at home and finishing up size 2's at school.  We always move up a size when she starts to have lots and lots of blowouts!
Trips: First trip to TFL Sept 12, Girls Weekend in Ottawa Oct 3
Likes: bath time (her most active time of day, just like Nora), breathing fast when she's starting to get upset, batting at toys, smiling at familiar faces
Dislikes: the period of time between bath and bedtime (as soon as she's out of the bath she gets cranky and wants to eat), taking multiple long naps in a day (she used to take long ones at home on the weekends but they have disappeared...I don't know what we do so wrong with our kids and sleep!)...that's about it. Evelyn is such an even tempered kid.
Milestones: Likes to sit up in bumbo, bearing more weight on legs, smiles when you tickle her chest/neck, more cooing, lifts head and all of chest on tummy time, intentionally bringing hands to mouth and very interested in grabbing things, likes to stick her tongue out and "lick the air", blowing spit bubbles (started with the wonder week leap 12), started at b'nai on Sept 10, transitioned to pack & play (out of smaller cradle) on Sept 28

Health: I touched on it earlier, but Evelyn has a cold: goopy eyes, sneezing, coughing, snot, etc.  She's had it for about a week. If it's still the same at the end of the week then I'll take her in to evaluate for a sinus infection.  No fever yet, but the older girls don't run fevers very often either. Reflux seems to be about the same.  She's still very spitty but the Zantac has helped it not hurt her so much.Other: I am still off of dairy but did have a dairy meal last night b/c we were so rushed.  It has been really hard this time around to get back into the groove of making dinners.  Obviously having 3 kids makes things harder but having them in 2 different schools doesn't make things easier.  All 3 of our children are doing well with transitioning to new schools and being a part of a family of 5.  

Evelyn {2 months}

We've made it to two months!  Two months of spit up, blow out diapers, finding deeply hidden spit up in the neck, being tormented by older sisters, and two months of being cute.  Evelyn's little personality is starting to shine through and there's definitely been more interaction!

I was just looking at Nora's 2 month post to spur my memory and at this point with Nora I still had 13# to lose.  Happy to say that I only have 5-6# to go this time around.  I'm not stressing about it much at this point.  I am hoping that when I go back to work, and back to working out, I'll be able to get it off easily!

Here's what we are up to with Evelyn

Eat: about 7-9 times a day
Sleep: Evelyn is a night owl and usually goes down around 1030.  She wakes around 5-6am but I can usually hold her off with the paci until I wake her at 7 to eat.  I am contemplating whether this is good or not.  On one hand, it allows us to go longer between feedings but on the other hand, I am still awake the whole time b/c I have to reinsert the paci so many times. Nighttime is spent in the rock and play sleeper and some of her naps are spent in the cradle. She still likes her arms to be swaddled.
Shoes: I don't even know what tub our newborn shoes are hiding in...
Clothes: 0-3 and 3 month clothes. She is wearing the 6-9 month Gerber onesies which brings me to the question of, does anyone's baby really fit into the gerber onesie sizes at the same age?  They seem to be so teeny tiny.
Diapers: Just moved up to size 2, we were having too many blowouts in the size 1.
Trips: nothing further than Claremore
Likes: keeping her eyes closed (self defense mechanism so that big sisters don't bother her?), kicking and batting at her floor gym, a nice swaddle, spitting up, baths and being held or in a carrier
Dislikes: being hit by or having toes pulled on by Nora, being poked in the eyeball by nora...my, are we seeing a pattern?
Milestones: In the past few weeks Evelyn has tried the bumbo and at least moves head side to side on tummy time, but no vertical movement yet.  She has also just started big smiles and multiple conversational cooing sessions during the day (8 weeks).
Other: At her 2 month appt, Evelyn checked in at 23" and 14#, that means she's up 7.5# from birth!!!!  She is very calm right now and has little demands.  She does have some reflux and we just started Zantac.  We also have an OMT appointment scheduled for Friday.  Hopefully the combination will bring her some much needed relief.

Evelyn {1 month}

Here we are...third child and this blog post in three weeks late.  I had the best intentions of staying on top of the monthly updates this time around...hah


So here's what Evelyn was up to in her first month of life:

• We quickly sized up to a size 1 diaper around 3-4 weeks
• It takes her quite awhile to get all her burps and spit up out, often times 30-50mins
• She also likes to spit up through her nose..ouch!
• Evelyn's witching hour falls from about 10pm-12am.  Luckily, she was very content and sleepy from 530-730 when things are very hectic with the older girls.
• Speaking of sleep, she sleeps GREAT during the day :)
• She is growing out of most newborn clothes
• She eats every 2-3 hours during the day and goes closer to 4-5 hours at night.
• Wet hiccups, wet burps, wet gurgles...wet everything!
• At 1 month & 2 days she weighed in at 10#13oz (that's 1#/week!)
• Not very interested in cooing or playing...just sleep.  She does make eye contact for short amounts of time.
• Evelyn is an expert at grunting and breathing fast when she is upset.
• Another favorite activity is being smothered by her older sisters.

So here's what's going on with the big girls:

• So far they really love her and we haven't seen any aggressiveness toward Evelyn.
• Nora has been very sweet and compliant the past few weeks, it has been so helpful.
• Emmy wants to hold Evelyn everyday and will often cry at night if she realizes that the day has passed without her holding the baby.
• Emmy can swim proficiently without floaties, it's a whole new world.
• Nora now thinks she doesn't need floaties.  She can float on her back (when she wants to, and only for her swim teacher).
• Life has continued on as normal for the older girls: swim lessons, daycare, returning to church when Evelyn was 2 weeks old...

38 week bump and birth story {evelyn}

So let's start with the 38 week bump in all its glory...

My appointment at 37w5d was pretty uneventful.  BP was good, weight was good and I was still at about 3cm and 80% dilated (normal for me at this point in pregnancy).

Now let's jump to my appointment at 38w4d....NOPE, can't do that!  There's some story that needs to be told starting at 38w3d.

So Wednesday evening (July 2), my brother's family was in OK for the 4th and stopped by for dinner and swimming on their way to his in-laws.  They have 4 kids all around our kids ages and they all have so much fun together.  We ordered a big tray of Chick-Fil-A nuggets and the kids spent lots of time swimming.  That night when I went to bed, I could tell that my contractions were changing from Braxton Hicks (tightness all over) to a more localized pain (like severe PMS cramps, I suppose, but I don't usually have cramps).  They weren't bad and they weren't worthy of being timed, so I went to bed and got a great night's sleep.

The next morning was pretty normal and I was still feeling the same contractions, but still very irregular and not TOO painful.  I thought I had just overdone it the day before and not had enough water.  I took the girls to school and came back to the house afterwards.  The 3rd was a work holiday so I had lots of things on my to-do list:  clean inside of car and vacuum/wash floor mats, get a pedicure, grocery shopping for 4th of July parties, etc.  So when I got home I got to work on the car.  I was feeling more contractions while cleaning but didn't think too much of it since they can intensify when you are active and then dissipate when you are still.  It wasn't until I went to the bathroom that I realized something might be happening.  No, my water didn't break, but I had a slight bloody show.  It was about 1015am so I decided to head to my appointment a bit early (I had a weekly appointment already scheduled for 1045am).  

I had a few contractions on the way to the office but nothing unbearable.  When I got there I was so happy to see a friend whose due date was a week after mine.  We sat and chatted for a bit and I was able to talk through the contractions but they were definitely not comfortable.  When the nurse came to get her for the appointment, I asked the nurse what it took to get back for my appointment ASAP...it was in this time that another friend suggested by text that I start timing contractions.  So I started timing and........they were coming every 3 minutes.  Not only that, but things were starting to get much more painful.

The nurse soon came to get me (thanks friend, you must have said something to the nurse that made them realize I really did need to be seen) and I weighed in, +33lbs, left my urine sample while having 2 more contractions and got my BP taken 125/86 (about the highest it's been this pregnancy).  The doctor was soon in my room to check me (she had to time it perfectly between contractions).  She started to check and said "I'm going to say......you're fully dilated".  I replied with "are you kidding me?".  But really, why would a doctor kid about that :)  This was 1111am.

At this point she explained that they would bring a wheelchair over and take me directly to the hospital. I started texting and calling Chris but didn't hear back from him. We (me, the wheelchair and nurses) arrived at the hospital and my room was LDR4 and it was completely setup and waiting on me.  Between some more ugly-face contractions, I was able to get my clothes off and gown on (I did get some assistance with the shoes) and climbed into the bed.  I signed some paperwork (1120am) and tried calling Chris a few more times.  The L&D nurse had to go over some questions with me so I answered as many as I could in between contractions.  I must have been holding my breath a few times because I kept getting the reminder to KEEP BREATHING.  You guys, I cant even begin to explain how awesome my nurse was!

So we got to a point where the nurses start asking if there's any other family that I want to call.  Well, my sister lives 10 hours away and my parents are 3 hours away.  Chris' nearest family member was a good 30 minutes away, so family wasn't really an option at this point.  I'm not sure how they expected me to keep the baby inside, but I was asked if I wanted to wait on Chris or go ahead and deliver.  I opted to go ahead and deliver since I had no idea where he was or how fast he could get to the hospital.

And then 1143am happened.  My baby made the grand entrance into this world under the careful watch of the hospital laborist and some awesome nurses.  I had told everyone that we didn't know the sex of the baby and I was so surprised to find out that we had an EVELYN MAE SANDERS!  They placed her on my chest and we started skin to skin time.  My doctor arrived shortly after I delivered...everyone was just not on my timeline that day!  I got to cut her cord and bask in her beauty. It was euphoric.  Oh, notice how I didn't mention an epidural?  Yeah, well- I never planned it to be that way but it ended up working JUST FINE.  I can honestly say that the worst part was the last 30 minutes of contractions.

I finally heard back from Chris at 1217pm and explained that he had a baby to meet...but I didn't let him know if it was a girl or a boy.  I wanted him to experience another round of excitement when he got to the hospital.  I believe he arrived around 1235-1240 and finally got to meet Evelyn.

So that's the story folks.  I thought it was a short one, but apparently it also had lots of details.

Oh, and while we were at the hospital after Evelyn's birth we figured out why he was missing all of those calls and text messages (and why it had been happening for a few days before her delivery).  One of our older children put his phone on "do not disturb" mode. Apparently they thought that their daddy spent too much time with his phone :).  HAHA.  But really- even if he had answered the phone, there's still a chance that he would have missed it.  He was in Broken Arrow working on a job site when I was at my appointment.  That would have left him with 31 minutes to get to the hospital and to my room.  

You've made it this far, you deserve some pictures.  Thanks for reading!