an evening 'round here

This post is mainly for me. I just want to document a typical evening (and beyond) around here, because someday I hope to look back on this time in our lives and remember it fondly.

445: leave work to get girls

505: on a good day with no dawdling by Emmy, we are leaving their school by this time

525: arrive at home. 1 out of every 15 days Nora might fall asleep on the way home, we have a monitor base that we keep in the car for those times. 

540: dinner is served. I'm the fastest chef this side of the Mississippi!

600: play time/ quick family walk/ clean up kitchen

615: bath time for both girls

635: Nora and I head to her room to rock/nurse while Emmy watches "Elf on the Shelf"

700: Nora asleep

715: Emmy goes potty and brushes teeth. This is followed by us reading a book to her, singing a song and saying prayers.

730: leave Emmy's room so she can have 5 minutes of "reading" books to herself. 

735-740: lights out for Emmy

740-830: listen to Emmy thrash/cry/do yoga in bed/remake her bed/ rearrange pillows/sing/make demands and cough. This usually requires a few trips into her room, threats if the spanking spoon and removal of privileges. 

900: I shower

930: pump, wash parts and all other baby things from the day, pack Nora's bottles for the next day. Then we feed the dogs. 

1000: to bed

(The next few items happened last week, and although the time of the events usually vary- the events themselves almost always happen)

1130: Nora wakes up and is wide eyed. I pull her into bed with me on the daybed in her room. 

1245: she's still awake and becoming very agitated.

100-115: I give in and feed her and she falls asleep

116: I go into our bedroom, pound on bed to wake the hubby and proclaim "we have GOT to fix Nora's sleep". Side note: we never had to "train" Emmy to sleep. She just did it on her own. Nora is giving us a run for our money. 

215: Nora wakes up crying. A few pats on he back and paci reinsertion later and she's asleep

400: coughing attack that wakes her, she needs help getting back to sleep. 

445: another coughing attack that wakes her and me, she needs help getting back to sleep. 

610: Emmy wakes. Goes peepee and then back to bed, where she stays until her clock turns green at 640. 

We get ready for work, do our morning stuff and sometime around 8am I settle in at my desk to, ya know, enjoy ALL that kid free time I get as a working outside the home mom. Because, as everyone knows, when I'm at the office I can just shut my door and not answer to anyone.  I have no one that needs me here and I can just rest ;)

Heavy Heart

I'm just gonna say it...

I am not happy with God right now.  Without going into too many details, I just want to say that I don't understand why people have to lose their babies.

So I am going to keep my words short and share with you a little something I found.  After going through losses ourselves, I would agree with most all of these tips on things to say and things to avoid saying to someone who has experienced an infant loss. The ones I agree with the most are underlined.  I realize this isn't a fun post, but I have felt the need for awhile now to do a post like this so we can all educate ourselves on how to best help others while they grieve the loss of a baby.

The list was taken from this site.

DO’s

DON’Ts

Do get in touch. Let your genuine concern and caring show. Do be available to listen, to help with the other children, or whatever else seems needed at the time. Offer help with practical matters like house cleaning and meals. Do say you are sorry about what happened to their baby and about their pain. Do allow them to express as much grief as they are feeling at the moment and are willing to share. Accept silence; if the family doesn’t feel like talking, don’t force conversation. Follow their lead. Do encourage them to be patient with themselves, not to expect too much of themselves and not to impose any “shoulds” on themselves. Do allow them to talk about their baby. Do give special attention to the siblings of the baby that died. Do reassure them that they did everything that they could, the medical care their baby received was the best, or whatever else you know to be true and positive about the care given their baby and/or pregnancy. Do encourage them to seek outside help, either from a health professional or another bereaved parent. Do remember the family on the baby’s birthday, anniversary of death, Mothers Day, Fathers Day and other occasions. Permanent memorials, such as the First Candle Tree of Hope, help families know that their baby has not been forgotten. Do be patient with them. Coping with the death of their baby may take a long time. Stay in touch.

Don’t let your own sense of helplessness keep you from reaching out to the bereaved family. Don’t avoid the family because you are uncomfortable. Don’t say you know how they feel (unless you’ve lost a child yourself, you probably don’t know how they feel.) Don’t probe for details about the baby’s death. If the family offers information, listen with understanding. Don’t tell them what they should feel or do. Don’t impose your religious or spiritual views on them. Don’t change the subject when they mention their dead baby. Don’t point out that at least they have another child; or could have more children in the future. Don’t blame anyone for the death. Don’t make comments which suggest that the care in the hospital or emergency room, at home, at the childcare provider’s or wherever was inadequate. Don’t try to find something positive about the baby’s death. Avoid clichés and easy answers. Don’t avoid mentioning the baby’s name out of fear of reminding them of their pain. Don’t say “you ought to be feeling better by now” or anything else which implies a judgment about their feelings, or sets time expectations or limits their healing process Don't just say "let me know how I can help". No one likes to ask for help.  Try to think of specific ways to offer up your help.  i.e.: Please let me know when we can come over and cut the grass.  Please let me know what night I can bring over dinner.  (This is my personal addition to the list, b/c I am guilty of not being able to ask for help)

16 months...the post in which I backdate.

Ok, so it's officially December 12 but I am JUST NOW doing Emmy's 16 month post. Whoops. Only 6 days late.

SO...I backdated the posting to make it look like I posted this on time. But who am I trying to kid?!?!

So here is what has been going on in our world the past month:

• Emmy has a few new words: cracker, more (signing it too), milk (sign only), bye bye tree, weeeeeeeee (that's an old one, but too cute not to mention), bah-bah (spider), soos (shoes)
• There are SO many more words that she's trying to say.  If we speak words slowly, she tries to repeat.  It's the best, but it also means we both need to start watching what we say a little more closely.  NOT referring to terribly bad words, but just ones we wouldn't want to hear come out of her sweet mouth.
• She loves looking at the fire but has never attempted to come close to it.  She stands, points and says "OOOOOOOOOOH".
• Also, when Chris and I are adding wood to the fire, Emmy loves to come and hug our backs.  She's not a huge front hugger, but she CANNOT.RESIST.HUGGING.OUR.BACKS.....odd, I know.  But I love it.
• She can take her socks and shoes off, she also tries to put them on.
• Emmy moved up a class at school and is now down to one nap a day, about 1.5-2 hours long.  This has yielded a much longer total nap time, but I think she is still missing that afternoon nap just a bit.
• Little miss thing loves the ornaments on the Christmas tree, so we have moved them all up past her reach.  She has one snowman ornament that she's allowed to hold. 
• In lieu of touching the tree and ornaments, we told Emmy to just say "HI" to everything.  So now she says HI and when we leave for school, we say "Bye Bye Tree"....actually, bye bye in general is now bye bye to the tree.
• We had a wonderful Thanksgiving up in KS with the Ensley fam.....until 7 people came down with the Great Stomach Bug of 2010.  We did not, thank you Lord.  Really........thank you Lord.
• On occasion Emmy has shown signs of temper tantrums: stomping of feet, gently throwing herself on the floor....I know this is just the beginning.  OH BOY!
• Always an outdoors girl, it doesn't matter if its 20 degrees, that's all you want.
• Maybe we are boring?  Emmy asks to go bye bye allll the time, even if we've only been home for an hour.
• Wearing a size 5 diaper, 4 1/2- 5 shoe, clothes range from 18 mos to 2T, weighed in at 27# at Thanksgiving.
• Lower Left Lateral Incisor finnnnaaaallllyyyy broke through Nov 30.
• Everyday Emmy's personality, strong will, and loving personality shines through even more.  We are excited to be adding to our family and can't wait to see her with her new little brother/sister.

Baby Fever

The weirdest thing has been happening lately, I've had moments of baby fever!  Is this something that naturally happens when your baby turns 1?  Even though she's not talking/walking/toddling alot- she just doesn't feel like a baby-baby anymore.

Now, how real is this baby fever?  Well, I'd say it's coming in at 99.1*.

For you mamas of multiples out there or for kids from families of 2+kids...how far apart are they/you?

My sister is the oldest.  There is 21 months between her and my brother.  Then there is 27 months between my two brothers.  Then 5 years between me and my brother.

It seems like alot of people aim for the 2 years apart thing.  I wonder how that works?  Are two year olds independent enough to leave you a little time with a newborn?  Are they old enough to help take care of the newborn?  How about younger than 2 years apart...and how did 2 become the magic number?

Let me know your thoughts

Happy Birthday Emmy Christine

Wow, I am still WAY too tired to write an actual 12 month old post.  So sorry to anyone who is waiting on that.  It took all my might just to make these 2 collages.  But I do hope that you enjoy, I will probably post these as separate images on FB so that I can write explanations.

July Pictures

I'll be writing Emmy's 1 year old post soon, but I have lots of family in town, lot's of preparing to do and I'm not in the writing mood yet.  But I'll leave you with some pictures of our Colorado vacation until next time

Our Story

Our story actually starts before this picture was taken, but I don't have any pictures from the awkward junior high years.

I moved to Claremore in 1994 from Indiana- our house was about 1.5 miles from Chris' house. We probably had a few junior high classes together- but didn't talk much. In high school we had a little bit more interaction with one another. Chris played football, I cheered, we were in some classes together and spent time together in student council. On one occasion, we TP'd someones house together. I won't say who- but he is in this picture.

My memories of Chris from high school are few and far between.
After high school, I went west on 412 to Oklahoma State and Chris went east on 412 to the University of Arkansas. I graduated spring 2004 and moved out to Virginia with my wonderful sister and her family. I spent one year there teaching high school math and then came back to Claremore to teach and coach cheerleading. In this time, Chris finished his bachelors degree in Civil Engineering and began his graduate work in the same discipline.

Chris would periodically come back to Claremore to watch his little brother, Greg, play football at Claremore. I saw Chris at a few football games and eventually struck up conversation with him to see how life was treating him (I had to keep 3 eyes on the cheerleaders to make sure they were doing what they were supposed to be doing- it's harder than you think). To my surprise, he was working on his masters degree and seemed to be loving it (keep in mind, this is the boy who didn't pay much attention in high school and really didn't seem to have academics as a #1...maybe #2 or 3).

Football season ended and basketball season began. I kept seeing Chris. In fact, we had an away game at Tahlequah one rainy dreary night. Chris had journeyed from Fayetteville to watch Greg (or was it to see me???) He asked for my number, in the "just friends" type of way and we talked about hanging out sometime. Completely platonic at this point, so I thought. A few weeks later, we had a game at Edison HS (In Tulsa). Chris was there watching Greg- for some reason his mom and dad weren't there. So I decided to sit by him to keep him company.

After talking for a few minutes, he asked me out on a date. I said.....YES. My mind hadn't really thought of dating him at that point, but I figured it would be fun (I had just gotten out of a 4+ year relationship a few months before this). Our first date was December 17, 2005.

The next day we went to Charlestons and I had a good time, but he didn't talk much. So our next date we went to dinner and then to a restaurant/bar afterwards to watch some college bball and have a beer. It was my master plan to make him talk more...and it worked!

It was Christmas time and I was spending it up in Kansas. On Christmas day we all said our goodbyes and I headed back home. I have never made such a fast trip from Ottawa, KS to Claremore, OK....I think I was really ready to hang out with this new man in my life.

More dates, lots of good conversations and trips to Fayetteville were bright spots in my last semester of teaching. I can't tell you at what point "i knew"...but very early on, I just "knew".

In May, Chris and I took a trip to Vegas and Reno. I really thought he was going to propose on this trip, and he didn't. I was a little disappointed.......

But not for long- because on June 8, 2006 on the Spanish Steps in Rome.....it happened.
4 months later, we were married. I was so sick of wedding thinking, planning, paying, planning.....I just wanted to be a wife to my husband.

We have had an amazing 3.5 years together. In the short time we have been married, we have experienced so much together. I can't explain the love I have for my husband and I can't find the words to tell you how supportive he is of his family.

Perhaps someday I'll reach the point of satisfaction with myself, but I am continually striving to be a better wife to my husband. I'm short tempered, easily angered, often unsympathetic, mostly cynical and can often be critical. I know I have so much to work on, and I love Chris so much b/c despite my character flaws- he loves me through it all.

We now have this little girl, Emmy, and she has added a whole new dimension to our lives. I knew that Chris was a wonderful husband- but can I just tell you how amazing he is at the role of Daddy? Seriously! Emmy is so fortunate to have such an involved, caring, interactive, loving, nurturing father. He loves his little girl, and she knows it.

We are both so lucky to have him in our lives and right now, we are both missing him badly (please hurry home from Houston....).

The path to "re"meeting Chris was a strange and twisted one, but I have no doubt that God specifically laid out that path just for us. My year of teaching and coaching was treacherous to say the least, but had I not endured- I'm not really sure how the story would have ended.

I love you, Chris.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Hope you had a great HALLOWEEN We had a fun weekend filled with family and friends.

At my friend Tia's house on Friday:

The costume:

FBC fall festival:

With great gpa and gma Posey:

Great gpa Joe:

Stretching in great gma Ollie's arms:

At great gma Pat's house:

With great gma Pat:

We had such a fun weekend and Emmy was a trooper. I could count on all fingers and toes how many times we got her in and out of her carseat.

What a blessing to have such a good natured baby. Fingers crossed that she remains this calm and easy going and doesn't become like her mama!!!!!!

Girls Rule....and also drool

Check out this sweet girl, it's Emmy's cousin Halle Louise. And check out that hat she's sporting. Someone super cool must have made that for her, wink wink.Emmy has another new cousin, Elyse that was born today! The only pictures I have are on fbook and can't post on here. Once I get pix, I'm going to share!

I am so glad that Emmy has 2 girl cousins that are so close in age. In the event that we only have boys from here on out, I'll be happy in knowing she has her cousins to.....just be 'girly' with.
I think it's so important to be close to your family. And if you aren't close to your immediate family, I hope you have a family of friends that you can rely upon. I truly can't imagine where or what I'd be without my fam.

My dad: my dad and I are extremely alike. It's ironic how I'm probably the most like him, and I'm the ADOPTED one! (I'm also the only one that went into the oil and gas industry...smart? or not smart? I'll let you decide)

My mom: I have to say that we did butt heads alot during high school and college. But now? I can't go a whole week without talking and emailing. She is such a wonderful Mom and Mimi. She always seems to know what I need without me even asking.

My sister: My sister is 9 years older than me, so without too much explaining- you can imagine that we weren't that close when I was younger. It wasn't until I was in high school that we became closer. We then grew closer when I was in college and even closer when I lived with her the first year out of college. Now that I have entered the world of mommyhood, I felt like our relationship has grown tenfold. Even as an adult, I look up to my sister. She is a great role model and is SO nice. I need to learn how to be that nice.

My oldest brother: I think our temperaments and personalities are very similar. Jim says it is because he instilled all of his knowledge way back when (it used to be his duty to dress me in the mornings since he was the only other one dressed and ready to go). I love that even though there isn't a drop of blood that we share, we understand one another! Isn't our God an amazing God? He provided me with the best family ever!

My older brother: Unlike myself Jay flys by the seat of his pants, is extremely fun loving, and is already balding and 1/3 gray. Sorry brother, had to say it. Even though I would say I'm more similar to Jim- Jay and I LOVE the same TV shows. So I think that indicates a strong similarity as well....anyhow, Jay can always lighten my mood. I love his lightheartedness. Jay and I grew pretty close when I was in college and he lived in Tulsa. I loved coming back to stay with him, I was able to stay with family-but not at home! It was the best of both worlds.

These are only tiny, tiny snippets about my family.
I hope, I really hope and Emmy and our future children (if we are so blessed) will love and appreciate family as much as Chris and I do.

I'm going to say a prayer tonight for each of the people I mentioned plus their families.

I encourage you to say a prayer for your family too and next time you see them- make sure you say "I love you" before you leave.

Sittin by the Buck Stove

Ahh, I love the feel of a warm den and a Buck Stove burning the wood away :)
This week has been a good week- Emmy's first full week at "school" and my first full week back to work. It was nice getting back into the swing of things at work, but it's taken a little more effort to get adjusted to HOME. I'm actually surprised I got ANY dinners made this week, but somehow- I did it! We have been blessed with a very happy, well tempered baby- but she's still demanding!

She's so sweet though, and anytime I'm tired, overwhelmed, sad (ya know, hormones are still a little off), angry, etc etc...I just look at her, and then I'm refreshed. I focus my energy towards her once again, and I'm good to go.

She is so perfect now- but I know things will change SOME DAY. I do find myself praying for her, alot. I want her to be responsible, loving, giving, light hearted, honest, true...so many things. I just figured I need to start praying NOW for the teenage years :).

So here's a few pictures of what we've been up to. It's late and I don't feel like rearranging, so they are from most recent to the oldest.

tonight: playing with her new exersaucer. thanks samson friends.
few nights ago: helping with laundry

earlier this week: showin off her punkin hat

last sunday: with coach sutton at the KS sports hall of fame, class of 20o9 induction

last weekend: at my parents

last weekend: emmy and her new cousin Halle

last friday: going out to the DMB concert.