It's true that when Emmy was 8 weeks old I was extremely ready to get back to work. Let's face it, new babies aren't the most interactive beings. I was ready for some human interaction.
But here we are, a year and a half later, and now I find myself wanting what I never thought I would. There are days, especially like tomorrow that I wish for the greener grass on the other side of the fence.
My Emmers is sick. She had a 103* fever right before bedtime. So tomorrow, chris and I will split shifts. I will work in the morning them come relieve him at lunch.
Part of me wonders if she would be sick less often if I stayed at home. But then part of me wonders if I have enough patience to handle the demands of a toddler.
Sometimes I think that she would be talking more and understanding more because of increased one-on-one time if I stayed at home. And sometimes I wonder what undesirable things she would be saying and doing as result of mimicking me.
Most often, I feel quite confident in my decision. But when my baby girl actually cuddles with me because she feels so cruddy- that's when it's hard to go to work the next day.
It's such a two-edged sword. I love being home with B, but I also miss work a lot. Some days I crave it, and find myself wondering if I did the right thing by choosing to stay home. Would I be a better Mom if I worked outside the home? Possibly.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! I hope Emmy feels better soon. Cute new blog look!